How Octavia Butler is Reshaping My 2026

Jan 1

Reflection

It’s that time of year again—the season where we look back.

In the past thirty days alone, while battling seasonal depression, I found unexpected hope in Octavia Butler’s journal entries and biographies about her life. And I know this without a shadow of a doubt: she and I would have been best friends.

I have never related to another human being the way I relate to Octavia Butler.

A Brilliant Black woman. Dark-skinned. Misunderstood. And in my case—fat. AuDHD. Disabled.

Reading her words felt like she reached across time just to sit with me. To tell me I wasn’t alone. From education—where she didn’t have the money to go back to school and realized she didn’t need to, only access—to romance, partnership, sexuality, being the weird Black girl, saying too much, saying too little, using the “wrong” words, and constantly being misunderstood by the people around her.

It felt like a conversation. A real one.

Even now, writing this, I have tears in my eyes because I have never felt seen the way I felt seen reading Octavia Butler’s journals.

And because of that, I’m entering 2026 with clarity, confidence, and direction.

Things are changing. And I want to say it out loud.

First: I Will No Longer Make Myself Smaller

The world is already hard enough. I don’t need to add to it.

Society is obsessed with boxes—gender boxes, race boxes, ability boxes—because what it can categorize, it can control. For a long time, I thought it was my responsibility to shrink myself into those boxes so I could be more palatable.

In 2026, I will no longer do that.

It is not my job to make anyone comfortable. If my presence unsettles you, you are free to leave—I will even hold the door open.

I will live out loud as a Queer, fat, AuDHD, disabled Black woman. I will not force myself into squares that were never built for me. And I will not entertain friendships, relationships, or partnerships that only tolerate me instead of welcoming me fully at the table.

I am shedding other people’s discomfort from my skin.

Second: I Will Stop Speaking Death Over Myself

I am brutally hard on myself. On my work. On my writing. On my career.

That cruelty has robbed me of joy.

In 2026, I am taking notes from Octavia Butler’s journals and choosing to speak life instead.

From this moment forward:

I only write bestselling, award-winning books
I commit to my craft daily
I invest in my education through workshops, classes, and mentorships
I finish four books next year:
Mississippi Gothic, Blessed Be the Fall, and Books 3 and 4 of my elemental fantasy series

I will show up honest and authentic.

Yes, writing is a small industry—but that does not mean it has to be toxic, competitive, or cruel. I will only fellowship with people and spaces that want to see each other win. Everyone else will fall away naturally. They were never meant to walk with me anyway.

Let them go in peace.

Third: I Am Choosing to Live

This one is hard to write.

I didn’t have the best upbringing. I’ve battled suicidal thoughts and attempts for years. This is the first time in my life where I am actively choosing to live—and fighting for it.

And yes, that choice comes with fear. Fear that it’s too late. Fear that I’ve already done irreversible damage to my body, my mind, my willpower.

But that is a lie.

I have already begun making better decisions. I lost 60 pounds this year, regained 10 during depression and pneumonia, and I am still here. I am dealing with cardiac issues now, but with the help of my doctors, I will overcome them.

I have too many stories left to write.

I refuse to die with unwritten words inside me.

Lastly: It Shall Come to Pass

Octavia Butler met many of the goals she wrote in her journals—some in her lifetime, some after.

I am taking it a step further.

I will meet my goals while I live.

I will see the fruits of my labor. And when I get where I’m going, I will reach back and help others on this path. I will build something that remembers Black art, Black writing, Black music, Black joy.

Before I leave this earth, I will make it better.

I will be a healer.

And all of this will come to pass.

“I am too alone, too slow, too lazy, too undisciplined, too little in my big body. I talk too much—and too little—saying too often the wrong thing.” — Octavia Butler, Journal Entry, November 23, 1983

It Shall Come to Pass - 2026 Short Affirmations

I am no longer making myself smaller to fit into spaces that were never built for me.
I am done sanding down my edges for comfort that was never offered in return.

I choose to live out loud as a Queer, fat, AuDHD, disabled Black woman.
I choose honesty over palatability.
I choose joy over survival mode.
I choose rest without guilt and ambition without shame.

I will write the stories I was told didn’t matter.
I will build the future I was told didn’t exist for people like me.
I will speak life over myself, my work, and my community.

I am here to create.
I am here to heal.
I am here to remember—and to help others remember too.

And everything I am working toward
shall come to pass.

— E.A. Noble

2026: Check List

My Creative Commitments

☐ I write daily, even when it’s messy
☐ I finish four books:

Mississippi Gothic
Blessed Be the Fall
Elemental Fantasy Book 3
Elemental Fantasy Book 4
☐ I only write bestselling, award-winning work
☐ I submit boldly without shrinking myself

My Growth & Education

☐ I apply for workshops, classes, and mentorships
☐ I invest in my craft consistently
☐ I journal every two weeks
☐ I hold myself accountable with compassion

My Community Standards

☐ I only engage with spaces that want collective success
☐ I release relationships that require me to be smaller
☐ I build with people who celebrate my presence at the table
☐ I reach back to uplift other Black creators

My Health & Wellbeing

☐ I listen to my body
☐ I rest without apology
☐ I prioritize my physical and mental health
☐ I choose life—again and again

My Legacy

☐ I preserve Black stories, language, and joy
☐ I create without the white gaze
☐ I leave the world better than I found it
☐ I refuse to die with unwritten words inside me

Drop a comment below of what you want to change in 2026 and come back at the end of the year and see if it, too, came to pass.

E.A. Noble